17 Best Sex Toys For Beginners In 2023, According To Experts

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Nov 20, 2023

17 Best Sex Toys For Beginners In 2023, According To Experts

Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in. Why Trust Us? From bullet vibrators to butt plugs, there's a first-time-friendly toy that's

Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in. Why Trust Us?

From bullet vibrators to butt plugs, there's a first-time-friendly toy that's perfect for you.

From Charlotte discovering “The Rabbit” in Sex and the City to that pegging episode of Broad City, sex toys are often celebrated in our favorite media—but without much how-to information. This leaves beginners to wonder, “Should I get my hands on one of these toys? And how do I know which one to buy?” To answer that first question: Heck yes! And as for the second—well, that’s where this guide comes in.

Figuring out self-pleasure, self-love, and masturbation can feel tricky when you don’t know where to start, but the right toy can make all the difference. From getting to those hard-to-reach areas to providing more power than fingers alone, sex toys can take your erotic exploration from meh to magical in no time. Plus, “using a toy solo helps you gather information about what pleases you—that can be for your own personal pleasure knowledge, or to share with a partner, if desired,” says Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist and historian for sex toy brand Good Vibes.

Meet the Experts: Lisa Finn is a sex educator and marketing director for Babeland and Good Vibes.Carol Queen, PhD, is an award-winning author, activist, and sex educator. Queen is also the staff sexologist and historian at Good Vibes.Tyomi Morgan, ACS, is a certified sexologist, celebrity pleasure coach, and intimacy coordinator. Morgan is also the founder of The Cowgirl Workout™ and is a member of the National Coalition for Sexual Health.Veronica Chin Hing-Michaluk, LMHC, is a gender and sexuality therapist and owner of VNC Therapy New York, a private psychotherapy practice and healing space for gender-expansive bodies honoring the intersections of culture, pleasure, and identity.Rachele Manett is the education coordinator for award-winning sex toy shop and bookstore Venus Envy.

Just like dating, you may not find “The One” on your very first try. But that’s okay! Every new sex toy experiment teaches you more about what your body enjoys and how it responds to different types of stimulation—and that helps make future experiences all the better.

Ready to dive into the wonderful world of sex toys? Here are the 17 best sex toys for beginners, according to sex therapists and the educators behind your (soon-to-be) favorite sex toy brands. But first…

People’s reasons for using sex toys are as wide and varied as their reasons for having sex. Ahead, Lisa Finn, sex educator for sex toy brands Babeland and Good Vibes, outlines some of the more popular reasons why people reach for a helping hand... in the form of a toy:

And sex toys aren’t just about pleasure: “Some use them as assistive devices, too,” says Queen. “There are toys that can help if you have mobility issues or in other ways for optimal stimulation or pleasure. And there are toys that are very useful in a gender play or gender affirmation context as well, notably strap-ons,” she adds.

Moreover, while sex toys are often used as aids for partnered and solo sex, they can even be substitutions for partners for those who may have trouble connecting with other human beings. “For some, sex toys are their primary partners and living as a digisexual [a person who derives sexual pleasure from digital entities] brings them more satisfaction than interacting with humans,” says certified sexologist Tyomi Morgan.

There's no shortage of sex toys on the market, and new types pop up every day. But in general, sex toys can be divided into two different categories:

You can also think about toys based on whether they’re analog or digital (er, motorized or non-motorized.) For example, a G-spot wand like the nJoy Pure Wand relies on the motion of the ocean you provide (sorry, had to), versus a thrusting vibrator that sort of does all the work for you.

If you still don’t know which style of toy is right for you after getting familiar with these options—that’s okay. “I always like to recommend products that have a variety of settings that you can explore to discover which feels best,” says Finn. “Or toys that can have multiple uses—an internal vibrator can always be held and used externally [and] suction toys can be great for nipple play,” she explains. So, “don’t be afraid to get creative with the use of your toy.”

Shopping for sex toys can make anyone feel like Goldilocks—it can take a few tries to find the one that’s just right. For starters, you need to find a trustworthy place to shop. Sex therapist Veronica Chin Hing-Michaluk, LMHC, suggests finding a store “with vetted good vibes and an informative, affirming attitude.” One way to do that is checking out an online retailer's website and social media to see if any of the topics they talk about pique your curiosity, which could be a good indicator that they’ll cater to your desires, they say.

It’s also important to shop at trusted online retailers (like the ones on this list!) because not all sex toys are made from body-safe materials. “Most reputable sex shops will only carry toys that are safe for their intended purpose, but shops that are more novelty-focused may carry toys that can absorb bacteria and cause some issues after a couple of uses,” says sex education coordinator Rachele Manett.

When shopping for a beginner sex toy, it’s also worth considering what’s in your budget. When you’re new to sex toys, you may not know exactly what kinds of stimulation you enjoy, and experimenting can get expensive. “Especially when you’re [first] exploring, you might want to get a more inexpensive [toy] to start with and learn from your response what you might like better next time you get a toy,” says Queen.

All bodies are different, and that means there’s no single “best” toy that works for everyone. “People want us to just tell them what’s best or what’s popular, but that isn’t how sexuality actually works!” says Queen.

That said, some toys are stand-out favorites among sex educators and everyday users. Checking out these 17 recommended beginner sex toys is a great place to start:

It’s tricky to pick a single best beginner sex toy that tops all others because personal preferences are so varied. “That said, wand vibrators have a HUGE fan club for good reason. They’re powerful and have helped many, many people (particularly those with clits) have their first and many orgasms,” says Queen.

Specifically, Finn recommends the Magic Wand Mini for first timers. “The mini version takes all the best parts of the Original Magic Wand design born in the ’60s and makes it petite for easier handling and [to be] less intimidating,” she says. Some highlights, according to Finn: “It’s rechargeable and has three settings, ranging from a delightful rumble to a powerhouse buzz.”

Rave Review: “I’ve been addicted to my Magic Wand for years and smaller vibrators haven’t worked for me, but this one is sufficiently powerful and less cumbersome than the original. Very pleased!”

“This toy is so versatile,” says Finn. “You can constantly discover new ways to play.”

Designed as a wearable vibe that hugs the clitoris and G-spot, you can use this hands-free vibrator during partnered sex—whether during penis-in-vagina sex or under a strap-on harness if both partners have vulvas—for extra stimulation. You can also wear it alone for solo play—perhaps under your clothes (wink wink).

Chorus comes with a remote control, so you can use it anywhere in the room, “with a super unique feature that controls the intensity of vibration by how hard you squeeze [it],” says Finn. “It can also link to a smartphone app so it can be controlled from anywhere in the world, which is great for LDRs or taking your play outside of the bedroom,” she adds.

Rave Review: “Love the remote control feature as at the moment my partner is on the other side of the world. Gives [us] a little bit of fun together.”

“This waterproof vibe is perfect for travel and incorporating into partnered or solo play,” says Finn.

With 10 settings—three intensity levels and seven patterns—this is a great addition to your bedroom activities if you’re looking for pinpointed sensations across external hot-spots like the clit, nipples, and more, Finn adds. Plus, “the classic bullet size and shape make it compatible with many dildos and harnesses, and the price point of $40 makes it one of the more affordable rechargeable bullets on the market.” Win, win, and uh, win!

Rave Review: “This has the best battery life out of all other bullet vibrators I have had. The different speeds/settings are fantastic.”

This is one of Morgan’s favorite toys for its sleek design and whisper quiet vibrations. “The head of the device includes both suction and vibration for dual stimulation,” says Morgan. Plus, “it's rechargeable.”

Rave Review: “This toy kept me very happy for years. It works really well for clitoral stimulation and has strong suction on higher settings.”

“I’m partial to sets in the classic butt plug shape, because whether or not you use them as ‘trainers,’ it’s great for a beginner to have options,” says Queen. If you’re just venturing into the world of butt plugs, the smallest size is very approachable for first-time users, according to Queen. And once you’re feeling confident, you’ve got two more sizes to try out. The smooth shape and long taper of these butt plugs makes for easy insertion, and the ring at the base makes them easy to hold onto.

As with any anal toy, you’ll want to use lube with these! But avoid a silicone lube as that will break down silicone toys such as these.

“For those looking for realistic texture and design, the Shilo offers a classic 6” shaft in a range of four skin tones,” says Finn.

Made of surprisingly skin-like medical-grade silicone with a pliable body, you can pose, curve, and contour this dildo however you like, including tucked away under clothing for easy access or even to affirm yourself if you’re looking for a gender-affirming toy, Finn adds. Bonus: If you’re looking to support LGBTQ+ entrepreneurs during Pride Month—or anytime of the year—this brand is queer-owned and operated!

Rave Review: “My wife and I have had our fair share of dildos in our time together. Let me just cut right to it: this is the absolute best dildo I have EVER had the pleasure of using.”

A rabbit vibe is a tempting toy because it promises the best of both worlds—external and internal stimulation. But that promise may backfire if you’re not sure what you like. “When getting a rabbit toy (we call them twice-as-nice toys because not all have a rabbit design—like the Romp Jazz), one of the most important decision points is how long the insertable part of the shaft is,” says Queen. Why? Because if the shaft is longer than your comfort zone, the clitoral vibrator won’t reach optimally!

The Romp Jazz is a great option for beginners, but Queen cautions that, before adding a rabbit vibrator to your cart, check the shaft dimensions to ensure they’re up to your standards (if you know what they are, of course).

Rave Review: “Love the rechargeable battery and that the plug is so consistent with the design. Great shape, good vibes!”

“Aneros is a brand celebrated for their strong focus on prostate health in their designs,” says Finn. “Each little curve and contour is there for a meticulously curated reason.”

The Progasm Jr. is a smaller version of one of their best-selling products of the same name. “It offers a slick and smooth, yet lightweight ABS plastic body with an ergonomic base that helps rock the unique shaft into the prostate to stimulate that area,” Finn adds. It’s great for beginners and experienced enthusiasts alike.

Rave Review: “When in the right mood, it can be very satisfying to have sex with it in place. Rocking it against the prostate does, under the right conditions, give a deeper orgasm and stronger ejaculation.”

If you want to explore G-spot stimulation, a curved toy is a must. “I recommend the Gigi All. The. Time!” says Queen. The Gigi 2 is an updated version of LELO’s popular toy, with stronger vibrations and a softer silicone coating, while retaining the sleek look the brand is known for.

Plus, when you’re not in the mood for internal stimulation, the Gigi 2 is also an excellent clit massager.

Rave Review: “I purchased this vibe with the intent of teaching myself to squirt, and this did it! The broad pad at the head is perfect for pressure on my G-spot, and the vibration is just strong enough to give me a pretty rocking clitoral orgasm as well. Love it.”

This beginner-friendly anal toy has an approachable size and shape, plus it provides dual stimulation so you can please both the anal canal and the area around the anus at the same time. FYI: Any toy inserted into your behind should have a flared base, and the Jix definitely checks off that box. Not to mention, this toy touts itself as being “made for every kind of body, which is awesome,” says Queen.

Rave Review: “As a trans woman both Jix and Starsi have been soo good! I had never had good experiences with vibes and back door play but this has made me feel good with my body in ways I didn’t think could ever happen to me.”

Fair warning: NSFW link.

This handmade cock (er, jock) ring from Esculpta is “durable” and “aesthetic,” per Chin Hing-Michaluk. It also doubles as erotic jewelry for both penis-owners and non-penis owners. The ring is “advertised for men but fits cutely on my wrist, so don’t let the intended market stop you from claiming your pleasure,” Chin Hing-Michaluk adds.

As the only sex toy that lives full-time on my nightstand (and that of many others), the original Magic Wand is an unbeatable classic if you’re looking for a beginner wand toy. “I’m ride-or-die Magic Wand,” says Queen. It's so good, it had to make the list twice!

P.S. If you don’t like the price tag for the rechargeable version, the corded option cuts the price almost in half! But trust me when I say that once you go cordless, you never go back. It’s so much easier to switch positions when you don’t need to worry about getting tangled. (Plus, sex is way more enjoyable when you don’t need to plan your sexcapades around power outlets!)

Rave Review: “Nothing tops this! Have tried others. This is the best out there.”

Ah, the Crave Vesper, a.k.a. the IYKYK of vibrators.

This wearable vibe that doubles as a necklace may get you a wink (or two) out on the street. It’s subtle enough for daily wear, and also packs a powerful punch for such a slim bullet vibrator.

Rave Review: “This vibrator really takes multifunctional to the next level—and I love it! Petite, pocket-sized vibrator packs a lot of power behind it and still manages to stay whisper quiet.”

“The B Swish Bdesired is a versatile little toy that is like the baby sibling of the Gigi,” says Queen. Not only will this vibe make your wallet happy, but smaller toys often feel more approachable for beginners. Plus, with six different vibration settings, it'll definitely deliver a big bang for your buck (pun intended!).

“Opened or closed, this toy can hide in plain sight,” says Finn. Disguised as a tube of lipstick in a gorgeous rose gold case, this beginner-friendly bullet vibrator is perfect for those who are worried about others discovering their goods (or just don’t like the idea of their sex toy looking like a sex toy—which is totally fair!).

The tip, a.k.a. the lipstick part, is made out of high-quality soft silicone and is angled for comfort and to help target the head of the clitoris during play, Finn says. What’s more? “Kyss has 10 settings, and because it’s waterproof and has the top to seal it, it’s super easy to clean and keep clean when you toss it into your purse [when] on the go.”

Rave Review: “In a sea of novelty vibes, this one takes the cake. You would think that something like this would feel super cheap, but to my surprise it actually packs a punch!”

If you’re looking for a strap-on that’s easy to put on and won’t fall off your hips while thrusting, look no further than this harness from Sportsheets.

This strap-on is “affordable [and] cushioned on the hip for support while thrusting, so the straps don’t cut into skin,” says Chin Hing-Michaluk. It offers a “very enjoyable euphoric experience and is not too complicated to put on and take off,” she adds. Plus, “it features three sturdy snap clasps to stabilize the cock ring,” so no matter the size of the dildo you’re using, it’ll be a comfortable fit.

Rave Review: “Works well. Easy to operate.”

Stella Harris is a certified intimacy educator, professional coach, trained mediator, and the author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships and The Ultimate Guide to Threesomes. Her freelance career is never dull; highlights include being sent to a strip club with a press pass, appearing on the evening news to discuss the importance of sex education in schools, and speaking as an authority on banana slug mating habits. In her free time, she curls up with scary books and horror movies.

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